One of the fascinating aspects of trauma is that our unacknowledged pain can be triggered at any time. The most innocuous of sensory experiences or memories have immeasurable power to effect us. When we stay “crazy-busy”, we are in control of our time, but not our mind. “Crazy-busy” cannot protect us from a scene in the latest blockbuster mirroring our story. Racing through a lengthy to-do list does not ensure immunity from reminders of our issues. Driving to the tenth event of the week, we may encounter a song lyric which evokes an unexpected, painful and stifling emotion. Maintaining a packed schedule will never ensure that we will escape our truth. Even if we manage to evade the trauma that lives within us through staying active, when we have a moment to breathe, it will rise to the forefront.
“Millions of people never analyze themselves. Mentally they are mechanical products of the factory of their environment, preoccupied with breakfast, lunch, and dinner, working and sleeping, and going here and there to be entertained. They don’t know what or why they are seeking, nor why they never realize complete happiness and lasting satisfaction.
By evading self-analysis, people go on being robots, conditioned by their environment. True self-analysis is the greatest art of progress.”
In the mid-week blog post, Givers Are the Worst Receivers, I talked about the numerous roles WOC take on during their lifetime. Family, friends, and obligation comprise most responsibilities, but at times our worth is also tangled in how much we can accomplish in a day. This cycle does not serve us well, yet we keep pushing. In all of our hectic, driven, control-filled structure, we may discover there is something missing. Maybe we don’t consciously realize a change, but our body may reveal signs. We can’t sleep at night/are sleeping too much. We are losing our edges. We are gaining/losing weight. We are snapping at folks. We are missing details. We are losing the passion to even BE busy. Perhaps our friends/family/intimate partner bring it up that we’re not ourselves. Yogananda highlights never realizing happiness and lasting satisfaction (we don’t want that!) So what are we missing? The answer is also in the quote above...self-analysis. When we fill every minute of every day (& night & weekend) with tasks, to-do’s and who’s seeing who, we are simultaneously avoiding being with self.
Check in and ask yourself the following questions:
1) What am I avoiding in my past or present by staying so busy?
2) How can I heal if all my time is devoted to the world around me?
3) What would I gain from taking more time out for self?
4) What type of woman would I become if I embraced healing as a necessity and not a luxury?
We are naturally resilient, capable, unbelievably hard-working, and loving. Isn’t it time we turned these skills into assets for ourselves too? I’m not asking you to stop thriving, shining, and showing up in your life as the goddess that you are. That’s simply not an option with the lifestyles that we lead. All I’m requesting is that we take it down a notch from “crazy-busy” to regular ‘ole, doable, time for ourselves busy. Enjoy your week ahead beautiful!